Now I have to admit that, of the whole 90’s Indie Rock scene, the Breeders weren’t exactly the White Stripes or Radiohead, but still, Kim Deal could write,as witness Cannonball:
Spitting in a wishing well
Blown to hell crash
I’m the last splash
I know you little libertine
I know you’re a real coocoo
She might have crafted that fine lyric about South Carolina’s own Lite Governor Andre Bauer. But, alas, Andre hates the breeders.
Yesterday, in Greenville, Andre had this to say:
“My grandmother was not a highly educated woman, but she told me as a small child to quit feeding stray animals. You know why? Because they breed. You’re facilitating the problem if you give an animal or a person ample food supply. They will reproduce, especially ones that don’t think too much further than that. And so what you’ve got to do is you’ve got to curtail that type of behavior. They don’t know any better.”
Feeding the breeders does not just make them breed, it also makes them stupid:
“I can show you a bar graph where free and reduced lunch has the worst test scores in the state of South Carolina…You show me the school that has the highest free and reduced lunch, and I’ll show you the worst test scores, folks. It’s there, period.”
Andre says we need the greatest expansion of government since the South Carolina legislature gave $200 million in welfare to that poor West Coast airplane builder:
“So how do you fix it? Well you say, ‘Look, if you receive goods or services from the government, then you owe something back.’ We don’t make you take a drug test. We ought to. We don’t even make you show up to your child’s parent-teacher conference meeting or to the PTA meeting…You go to a school where there’s an active participation of parents, and guess what? They have the highest test scores. So what do you do? You say, ‘Look folks, if you receive goods or services from the government and you don’t attend a parent-teacher conference, bam, you lose your benefits.’ We’re going to have to do things like that. We can’t afford to keep just giving money away.”
No more money for filthy breeders. (Do you know what those people do in private? Yuck.) If they had to go to a PTA meeting, they would stop breeding.
I’m so hopeful that Andre can become our next governor. It will keep the breeders off the State House steps.